


The Family Portrait

by PurpleMarmalade



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Affairs, Alex is a lawyer who wants to rise to the top of his game, Alex is forgetting what is more important, Angst, Cheating, Family, Fluff, Heartbreak, John is a social media influencer and he is minted, John is out of touch with reality, Lemon, M/M, Marriage, Neglect, Philip is a baby, the most woke story I have ever wrote
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:47:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29256186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMarmalade/pseuds/PurpleMarmalade
Summary: For years Alex and John dated after meeting one another in college. So, after graduating they do the usual thing where couples get a place together, they start a life together and now that the option of marriage is legal for them, they got married. And then they even get the opportunity of being blessed with a baby, named, Philip.But as time goes by, life gets in the way, things start to slip off track. And then, one day, that gorgeous family portrait hanging up on the wall falls and it begins to slowly dissolve, as it's pierced through gradually.And when everything has burnt up and gone, there's only the rolling flames left to watch.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Kudos: 7





	The Family Portrait

Fluttering his eyes open, slowly, Alexander Hamilton, hazily tried gathering his surroundings. He feels the constant prodding of what felt like a finger dig into his nose. It jabbed and jabbed, again and again. Eventually Alex grunts aloud, his dark big brown eyes sprang open and he's wincing at the hefty thud on his stomach.

Groaning Alex rubs his eyes, ridding the traces of sleep from the corners and he's scratching at his scuff. God, he needed to shave. He yawns aloud and is still batting his eyes open. That's when another pair of eyes burrow into his vision, a pair of big hazel eyes gazed down at him.

"Phillip"

Alex sighs.

Another yawn and Alex turns his head to his nightstand, he grabs his phone, sloppily, his hand not really waking up and he having a quick glance at the time. It wasn't even six yet. Jesus christ. Alex puts the phone down and he's withdrawing his hand back.

Then looks back to his son, little Phillip. His son was growing up so quickly. He had just turned one recently and was shooting up like a beanstalk. Alex couldn't believe just how fast time had passed. It was only yesterday he recalled Phillip being born, there in Eliza's arms, her big smile and proudly looking back at Alex.

Alex gathers Phillip there looming over him from under his arms, his son, a bundle of nothing but freckles, curls, light tan skin and dimples. Alex couldn't get enough of his wee boy sometimes. He was just adorable.

Phillip squeals giggling as Alex brought him up to his chest, hugging him. Ruffling his fingers in Phillip's little mass of fluffy brown curls. Alex dips his nose into Phillip's hair, breathes him in and he still smells like cocoa butter from his bath last night. Bless.

"He escape the crib again?" A voice, beside Alex.

"Yep"

Phillip giggled.

Alex had no idea, just what he was going to do with this sweet boy.

John rolls over sleepily with a lazy smile, he's gazing at the pair of his loves with lidded eyes. His long curly hair a mess, as usual and he's grinning at little Philip. "Morning, Pippy" John says softly, he's reaching for Phillip's little squishy hand. John flicks a thumb over his small knuckles, Phillip's hands were softer than velvet. All new, all cute.

Phillip's dimpled smile grew when he sees his other father, John awake and staring back at him in complete awe. "Dada!"

Both Alex and John just giggle. It was always so sweet when Phillip spoke. "You gonna give Dada a kiss?" Alex asks him, Phillip looked as if he was thinking about it, twisting his little mouth in thought. It was crazy just how much like John he was. 

He looked exactly like John had as a baby too. Alex had seen the photos, all the ones John's sister, Martha had rammed in Alex's face back in Charleston at the Laurens family estate. Nothing but raspberry cheeks, freckles, hazel eyes and curls. Precious as ever.

Although Alex saw a handful of Eliza in Philip too. The softer shape of his nose, slightly thinner lips and her almond eye shape. Subtle differences from father and son.

Alex demanded John be the one to have their first child. Alex just loved John, the way he looked, the way he was and wanted a double of John that they could raise.

Although it had been John's idea to have a baby first. Alex wasn't so sure at the beginning but after plenty of talks before Philip was born, Alex decided to hell with it and declared that they would have a baby by next Christmas. John had been over the moon.

"Are you working today?" John asks, he's busy taking Phillip into his arms there between them. Cradling his needy son. Philip makes some gurgled noise, talking to himself in his baby jibber as he's sucking his fingers.

Then all of a sudden John yelps, his face a picture of pain when Phillip yanks a handful of John's hair. Alex snorts and bites his lip. John grunts as he tries to gently pry Phillip's hand off his hair.

"Hey, no - No! Pippy, don't tug on Dada's hair." He does it again. John winces and Alex shuffles closer to unbuckle their son's fingers off John's hair. "Shit - ouch!"

Alex rolled his eyes at the scene. These two though.

"No, Pip. Let go of Dada" Alex snickered, John fires Alex a betrayed look and he's laughing himself through the pain. Eventually Alex does get Philip to let go of John's wisps. Philip blows his lips in complaint, he was getting rebellious lately and the little spray of spit hits Alex on the face. "Pip, that's not nice!"

John cackled himself, leaning his head right back there on his pillow and shakes his head. Alex gave John a nudge in his shin under the sheets. "Ain't funny Jack" Alex mumbled, though he had to grin.

John eyed Alex with a smirk then cheekily pulls his tongue and he's gone back to staring at what their son was doing.

Phillip rolling around in between them there on the duvet. Rocking on his back, with his stripy socked foot in his mouth, his little Spiderman t-shirt rode up his belly, it was full of drool and some dried milk from in the night. Their little one was so messy. John sighs when he notices.

"He's been doing that a lot lately" John sighed once more, shaking his head. "Gotta get him to break the habit"

Alex snorts softly, "Which one? The hair pulling, the spit or the fact that our one year old keeps running into our bed in the middle of the night?"

At Alex's listed problems, John rolls his eyes and sighs, "All of them. He's got to stop and especially with the spitting." Alex nodded in agreement, they really had to get Philip to stop running into their room for the big bed. They knew how much Philip loved beds, he loved to bounce and slam his little pudgy hands down on their mattress, squishing his fingers into it before jollily giggling.

"Christ" Alex laughs.

But another reason was that John and Alex didn't want Philip catching them in heated moments. Well, not that they tended to happen as often as they used to. Since Philip was born, they were just too tired. Sex was always the last thing they felt like doing after a long hard day, their lives were already busy. Philip added into that mix just made life even busier.

Whenever Alex felt in the mood, John wasn't or when John felt that bit spiced up, raring to go, Alex usually fell asleep with John still in him. The moment completely killed, John sighing usually and slipping out while he was still hard. Then popping a kiss on Alex's forehead, wishing him goodnight before switching off the lamp and finishing himself off.

But most of the time Philip ended up curled up in either John or Alex's arms with his bottle in their bed. And many a night they would wake up soaked with milk all over them because Philip liked to take the top of his bottle off or chew little holes. 

"Yep and we oughta get him one of those toddler beds, Alex, I think it's time" John said. "He keeps creeping in here and up on ours"

Alex now sat up, yawning with his arms up, Phillip tries to copy and he giggles when he does. Alex gives him a little tap on his nose.

"We do" Alex replied, and he's giving Philip a little tickle on his belly which caused him to squeal. "You hear that, Pip? You're going to upgrade"

John chuckled, he's petting Phillip's curls gently. "Mm, I think we should." Then looking back down at his son, grinning and asking, "Would you like that, a new big boy bed?" Phillip is sat with crossed legs, staring at them both with his big hazel eyes. Fingers in his mouth and silently sucking. Alex and John end up in a fit of laughter.

"God, aw, he's confused" Alex says as he's wafting a hand through Philip's blooming mop of curls. "He's no idea what's gonna happen, poor Pip's gonna get the shock of his life"

With a nod in agreement, John has to laugh, "Yeah, but he'll get used to it though. He'll have to. Actually, on that point, I'll look online later this afternoon. Once I've got him down for a nap, filled in some taxes, paid some bills, got the content I need to shoot for today. I'll pick out a few beds online and we can decide together when you get home. I'm thinking maybe one with a guard actually. He might end up falling out of it at first otherwise."

"Sure" Alex says, then he yawns a little. "Hey, uh, I might be back a little bit later though, mostly to catch up with some paperwork. It's going to be a hectic day, but it's cool. You get which ever, you're the Mr. Cool influencer here. Baby, I rely on you for these decisions"

John rolls his eyes a little. "He's both our son, Alex. I want your opinion as well. It matters."

"It's a bed" Alex chuckles. "Hun, it's hardly groundbreaking, the bed slats will be jacked up once he's five anyway. From all the jumping around and once he's got his little friends staying over, sleeping on it. Using the damn thing as a climbing frame. Then we'll be buying him a new one"

Alex snickers as John softly swats his arm. "Kill joy"

"Oh please!" Alex laughs.

Philip is looking between them wide eyed, now super confused on what was so funny, then goes on to suckle on his hand.

John turns on his side, he's then staring up at Alex with a lazy, soft smile. He mooches over slightly to press a kiss on Alex's upper arm and lies his head back down. Alex raises his brow in question while Philip is rolling on his back, giggling in his own little world.

"Are you sure you're up for going back to work today?" John asks, quietly.

A nod from Alex and a yawn came before replying with, "Mhm, I've got tons to do."

John pouted at him sympathetically, he moves a hand to Alex's lap, rubbing down the sheet outlining Alex's thigh lovingly. "Look, if you're not feeling well still hun, you know you can take time off. Stop forcing yourself, the workloads you're taking on, they're not healthy."

"You know I can't, Jack. Washington, he needs me on board with the team and I'm the only one who gets shit done in the office. If I don't it'll be like the blind leading the blind in that place" Alex explains, wearily and yawns.

With a small sigh and a roll of the eyes, John couldn't help but smile. Alex caught him as he did.

"What?" said Alex.

John's grin grew more. "Ah, nothing. Just - you're always working." Alex arched a brow at him.

He adds. "Non-stop, you need to take a break. A _proper_ break, one where we can all just be together. And go somewhere nice, maybe we can drive upstate and hire somewhere for the weekend. Even if it's just for the weekend."

"Jack" Alex tries, sighing again. "Look -"

But John raced in over him. "Then again we could always wait until summer and get some tickets, head off to Puerto Rico. My mother's side has that small villa by the beach. A couple of my cousins have a spare apartment close by too. Remember, we stayed there last time? We could meet up with them, grab some dinner, let Pip meet more of his family. It'd be nice."

And it did sound nice. Alex would love to go back to Puerto Rico, the last time he and John went it had been without Philip.

Alex had met up with John's family again, they were a lively and kind bunch. There was lots of singing, lots of dancing, his aunts always put piles of tasty food out. It was so family orientated, so much love was shared around and Alex had always felt so welcomed whenever he went.

Before now, John and Alex were reluctant to take a new born baby all the way there. Because when Philip was only one there had been a hurricane. John's family had been safe with no harm done to their property thankfully. Still, even so, it had scared the life out of John at the time.

And since then John had declined the idea of going back there until now.

"Actually, on that thought, how about Europe? I've always wanted to visit France and Italy. Positano looks gorgeous! Should we go? I think it would be amazing to take Philip to somewhere new. And it'd be good for us, y'know, just to go somewhere different for a change."

Alex leans his head back, he stares at the ceiling and closes his eyes. "John" Alex whined, softly. "You know, I can't just -"

"I know" John cut him off. Alex reopened his eyes and looked over to John. That tone in his voice, Alex could feel and even hear the hurt that seeped into it. And he sees the way John masks his disappointment.

"You're busy" John says, a little snippily. "I get it"

Alex's expression fell at the sight of him. He was bothered. But Alex didn't know what to really say. There were days when he just couldn't muster up the time. There wasn't enough hours in the day.

A moment passed where they went quiet. Philip was gargling in the middle.

John sighed out loud. "It's just with Pip getting bigger, I don't want you to miss watching him growing up. There's eventually going to be birthday parties, birthday invitations he'll get when's in school -"

"I know" Alex says. 

"School plays, parents evenings, football games, baseball games -"

Alex nods. "Baby, I know. I got you and Pip, I know. But he's barely even two yet, there's years before any of that yet!"

"Still though, Alex, he needs you just as much as he needs me." John tells Alex, firmly. Staring right into his eyes. "I know with your job it's demanding, I do. I get it. But... I just worry sometimes."

Patting John's hand and eventually curling his fingers around John's. Alex then softly, says, "You don't have to, honey. I'll always come home at the end of the day. Alright? Always."

John looks down at his husband's fingers hooked around his husband's. Alex watches as John gives a small smile, he looks to Alex and Alex could see right through him. Alex's fingers unbuckled slightly at that look and his stomach twisted.

Then John quickly flickers his gaze to Philip between them. His smile widens at the sight their roly-poly toddler who's babbling away. Alex's stare lingered that bit longer on John before looking down at Philip himself. He looked adorable rolling about, then John starts singing some song he had been recently teaching Philip and he tries his best to sing back.

It had both of them laughing at Philip's attempts, it was sweet. Although, Alex kept looking back to John and he knew John was avoiding his gaze. So Alex swallowed the lump at the back of his throat and slipped his hand away from John's.

* * *

Alex was searching the entire apartment for his coat, the long black wool one.

Since New York had decided to snow outside that morning, Alex's mood faltered even more. He hated winter, the cold frosty mornings. Waiting for the subway in the cold, cramming on it with a bunch of shivering strangers, all bashing, rocking into you, while the heat lasted around five minutes inside before hopping off and dreading having to walk back out into the chilled air.

"Have you seen my coat anywhere?" Alex asks, as he's rushing around like a mad mad.

Phillip was in his high chair hand-feeding himself some of apple and mango oatmeal. Half of it already down his bib and the little table. John's throwing on his house coat, he usually got dressed not long after Alex left and once Philip was sorted for the morning.

He's busy loading up his macbook there plugged on the kitchen island's top, he's brewing some coffee and loading up his camera. He had plenty of work to get on with today from home.

"Which one?"

God, this happened almost every morning. Alex couldn't find shit all. He's running around the apartment, not realising he's already late enough as it is. "The black one, the peacoat" Alex said hurriedly, worried. He's rummaging in the small closet at the side of the kitchen. "John- goddamit" Alex muttered to himself. "Why do you insist on always moving my shit..."

John was busy tending to Philip, their son who thought it was fun to slap a huge handful of oatmeal into his hair. "Pip, can you not." He griped.

John sighs and Philip is squealing in laughter at John's frustration. "No, honey, the oatmeal belongs in your mouth. Not your hair."

Philip giggles at his father's displeased expression and goes against everything John had said. He whams a big dollop of oatmeal right there on his little mass of curls, John gasps and cries, "No!" but then, just for good measure, Philips tosses some on the floor.

John stands there groaning, shaking his head. "You're as bad as your father"

Then John is grabbing the long roll of kitchen paper from the side and ripping a few pieces off before fingering the oatmeal out of Philip's hair. He then grumbled "You both never listen"

All Philip did was chuckle away in his high chair happily and kick his legs.

Alex came bounding in quickly, huffing and puffing with his messenger bag, his scarf hooked around his neck, looking around in panic. John turns to Alex with a puzzled look and asks, "Alex?"

"You seen my black coat? Fuck, I'm going to miss my train! John, word of advice! Please do not move my stuff!" Alex whined.

John frowned at Alex while sorting Philip out.

"I've got a meeting at ten! And that's before getting on the fucking subway! God, it'll be rammed as well. And I am just not in the mood, at all, today. Also, have you noticed that every winter, people just suddenly _decide_ to come to New York? It's always just before Christmas too. God, that'll be back with a vengeance soon. The busiest, most awful, holiday of the damn year!" Alex bitched.

John raised his brow up.

Then Alex tosses down his bag on one of the kitchen table's chairs. He bends down for a moment to tie his shoe laces. "I mean, christ. You would think with the amount of pictures google has to offer of the Empire State and Fifth Avenue, that people would just look on there instead! Jesus, I mean we've all seen the view! It's pretty, yes, it's nice! But let's be totally honest, who gives a fuck?!"

Oh Alex went on and went with his ranting. John had to roll his eyes. Hard.

As John continues to dab out the oatmeal in their son's hair. "Don't swear around him" John tells Alex. "I don't want him picking up bad words. He starts nursery soon."

"Alright, alright. Yada, yada. I heard you." Alex mutters.

"Alex, just _calm_ _it_. Yeah? Enough." John told him, frowning.

Alex groans in frustration, he's done with his laces and now he's gone back to storming around the apartment. Philip goos and coos watching what his other father is doing. John watches and then he goes off to peep around the corner.

"Ah, wait. I remember now. Hey, honey, have you checked the hamper?" John shouts.

"Why would I?" Alex hisses.

John then goes "Oh, yeah. Hamper. Remember, Pip threw up on you last night when you got home?"

For a moment Alex stared at John with a confused face. John arched a brow at Alex and put a hand on his hip. "You came in, picked him up for a cuddle off the sofa, span him around when I told you not to and he threw up half of his dinner. You tossed the coat in the hamper, ring any bells?"

Alex runs a hand over his face. His cold was seriously taking a toll on him, he hadn't remembered. "Fuck, forgot. Yeah. Okay, right."

John couldn't hold back a small laugh. "Oh, Alex. Look, just put another coat on, Jesus. Honey, it's not that much of a big deal. You still look nice. You always look nice and you smell amazing." John says, then he's going back to their son. "Doesn't he Pip?"

Philip clapped his little hands and kicked out his feet in glee, fully agreeing. John laughed as he did. "See? Even he thinks so too"

But Alex being in a mood didn't find the humour in it all. He had things to do, places to be. Important work to get done. "I've got _one_ black winter coat, John. One. I have to look -"

Then John just sighs aloud, over him. "Then borrow mine"

"John, that would _drown_ me" Alex scoffs and he's running off into their bedroom. Because when John, his husband was standing at six foot and Alex remained somewhere around 5'7. It was all fun and games until it came to sharing clothes.

At that remark, John shakes his head. It was annoying to listen to the constant moaning but John rolls it off. He's then grabbing more paper roll and rubbing the smears of oatmeal from Philip's around little mouth. It wasn't easy when he was blowing bubbles and sticking out his tongue.

"You hear that? Throw up again on him Pippy" John joked. Philip seemed to find fun in that comment, he kicks his legs again and babbles.

Alex comes storming back in with a different pair of work shoes on and his old brown long wool coat. He was busy grabbing his black scarf from the coat holder and snaking it around his neck quickly. John watches Alex prance and prep himself in the living room mirror before running back to the table for his bag.

He swings his back over his shoulder and John is busy quickly wiping up the spilt oatmeal on the floor. As he stands upright, Alex comes over to him slowly, his face apologetic. He tries to give John a little smile, it wasn't genuine, John knew but he also knew his husband was just stressed.

Alex ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Sorry I'm like this with you"

John gives a low "mmm", then Alex leans up, he plants a soft kiss on John's cheek before pulling away. They both stared at each other for a moment.

Alex didn't know what else to really say. He knew he was acting up and that made him feel more guilty.

As he was about to turn his heels and go, he assumed the next train time was almost due. He could always check on his phone for anyway. If he was late, then, so be it. They could always start without him and Alex didn't really feel up to seeing a certain someone's face first thing anyway.

It was John's hand that stopped him, clasping gently on his upper arm, fingers press into him and the feeling sends a dazzling warmth into Alex.

"Hey" John says, voice soft, no longer annoyed. Alex has his gaze fixated on the door, he closes his eyes for a split second and lets out a long exhale.

"I'm sorry that I'm short with you these days" Alex admits. "I'm snappy, I'm rude, I'm -"

"Hey, hey, look at me" John tells him. He coaxes Alex by the chin and looked back at him.

"John, no, leave it, it's fine"

But John wasn't having it. "No, look, c'mere" And he manages to drift Alex back to him. And Alex gives in, as he turns, Alex sees the way John's brow creased with concern. Alex bit his lip, he can feel Philip staring at the both.

"Alexander, I know you. I know you're exhausted, I know you're being a stubborn asshole because of work. And I _know_ you've still got a bit of a fever and that you're trying to palm me off here. I know."

Alex chuckled a bit at that and John did too. John's hand stayed there on his chin, then it slowly slid to his cheek and John's thumb rubbed sweet circles around Alex's scruff.

"Now, are you sure you're up for going in today? I can always run you a bath, grab you some of those lemon and honey flu drinks when I run to the store later?"

But Alex shook his head. "Can't, baby. I keep telling you this and the answer will always stay the same. I wish I could but I can't afford to have time off right now"

John puts a hand on his hip and pouts.

"Big things are finally happening in my career and I can't let this go. I've been waiting for this moment!" Alex pleas almost. "We're working on a serious case here, I need to be in office. This ain't an episode of Law And Order, baby. I'm literally living the dream! I just have to do this."

With a nod, John sighs. "Okay, sure. Sure, alright"

Alex gives him a soft smile. "I'll be home for dinner, at least. I promise."

John smiles back, it was half hearted, as always. "Okay" 

It was when John turned his back on him immediately to tend to Philip, where Alex stood there for a moment or so. He stared at his husband and it felt almost as if years had passed.

He knew John was annoyed. Not over the fact that he was sick still either. It was more than that and Alex didn't know how to tackle the matter. And so, he bids Philip and his husband another goodbye before heading out.

* * *

Alex stared blankly at the floor and the thought of John's words rung throughout his head.

The screeching of the subway carriage hurt his ears, he grimaces and creases up his brow. His head pounded even more which did no favours for his feverish headache. Still, even after living in the city for most of his life, Alex would think that he'd be used to the noise by now.

It was packed.

Well it was rush hour, the hustle and bustle of New York never changed. It was never going to either.

Alex leans his head against the wall, his fingers numb from the cold and one of his gloves had a hole in them. Alex hadn't noticed that earlier.

But what was funnier was when he went to get out his subway card at the barriers and ended up grabbing it out, along with Philip's blue binky dropping on the floor.

He sighs.

Some kid was blasting a tune out, Alex didn't recognise it.

Then again, at thirty-five years of age, he had no clue what was in the charts anymore. These days the only thing Alex tended to listen to was Philip's baby toys which churned out the most annoying lullabies and nursery rhymes. Him and John went to bed singing 'Baby Shark' in theirs head on the nightly.

And if Alex were honest, most music out now sounded the same. Sometimes when flicking over the TV channels on one of his lazy days, Alex would see some of the music channels or the young blood on a talent show and find out new artists that way. But otherwise, Alex just didn't have a single clue and he didn't particularly care either.

If anything, Alex wished this chump would turn it off or stick in some earphones at least. Alex gave the kid a stern look, as if to give him a clue but of course, New Yorkers being New Yorkers. It went ignored. Alex lets out a sharp breath and looks elsewhere.

His eyes land on some old man, it was almost winter and the guy was in shorts, paired with long socks. And sandals. Alex bit back a smile when he noticed those. What an absolute mug.

The woman next to him, a real picture of sophistication. She had a lovely suit on, Alex would've gave her a thumbs up for walking in those heeled boots all day if he could. But the ladder up her stockings just broke the elegant image.

Alex's nose wrinkled up, he thought something smelled off. He turns slightly around and when he does, he sees some middle aged woman chowing down on a bagel that had enough filling on there, it could've fed a family of five. Onions, cheddar, salami, the lot. And whatever sauce she had on it was dripping on the floor, half of it was almost going down her.

Slowly, Alex turns away from her and tried not to gag.

The worst was when the next stop unravelled a new load of people on to the platform, Alex squished right up against the door and the lady with the grimmest bagel known to man huddled closer to him. He could smell her breath and it was making him gradually go green. Alex closed his eyes and prayed his stop would just hurry.

And to make matters worse, someone had just brought on a screaming baby. How Alex didn't join in with it, he didn't know.

"Lord help me" Alex mutters to himself.

* * *

As soon as Alex got into work he was headed straight for the meeting.

He coughed his lungs up in the middle of the main reception as he was running. A couple of the receptionists at the desk gave him crude looks but Alex paid them no mind. Infact, he couldn't stand the snobby shower of bitches most of the time anyway. Alex disliked most of the staff in this place because they all thought they were better than everyone else.

Alex coughed and sniffled as he's adjusting his bag ready to get into the elevator. As he is pressing the button again, he hears a 'Hey Hamilton!' from over his shoulder. Turning Alex sees one of the janitors there heading over to him.

So Alex breaks out a grin and he gives him a small wave. "Hey, good morning" Alex greets back.

The janitor was a nice old soul, a short little Puerto Rican man. He was always so vibrant and cheerful every single morning. No matter the weather or the fuss. Infact, Alex got on well with the cleaning staff here. Usually when Alex was working late, he always tended to be sat in their way when they were turning to clean his department's office.

Most of the time they just didn't bother cleaning Alex's desk anymore and they always ended up chatting to him instead since Alex would be the only one left in the room.

Alex knew all of them, him, the two African ladies, one Dominican man and there was an older Chinese lady who sometimes covered when she could cope with her bad knees. Plus there was one kid, Charles Lee, Alex was certain he was called that did a few janitorial shifts between his studies too from what he remembered when they last spoke.

There were all sorts of people Alex came across during his line of work.

Alex gets into the elevator and he's giving himself a quick once over in the mirror. He sighs at himself, his nose was bright red and his eyes looked a tad watery. He would live though.

As the floor pinged, Alex noticed that they had stopped half way. He shuffled to the side so that whoever got in next could keep clear.

And as soon as the doors opened, Alex's stomach dropped.

"Hamilton"

Alex frowns.

And there had to be one person, out of even the people Alex didn't get on with well here, that Alex truly couldn't stand.

"Jefferson" Alex greets back.

Thomas Jefferson.

A lean stocky young biracial man that stood over six foot. Alex had to admit despite the fact that he loathed this man, Thomas was very good looking. Extremely handsome, which was a shame. He had a sculpted amount of scruff and a flock of dark curls he obnoxiously wore out. Alex thought it suited him perfectly, the man was a walking cloud of toxicity.

However he was a fairly decent lawyer if Alex had to rate the man on professional terms. Jefferson had it together, he had beliefs and some which Alex supported deep down. He was quick, slick, brainy and often liked to rub in the fact that he went to the University of Virginia for the first year of his degree before moving to the city. The man only studied at Yale Law School and graduated there.

Of course every dinner party and Christmas party Alex had to dread it and sit there listening to Jefferson witter on about his years of study. It got boring really fast once you've listened to the same stories time and time again. Alex often yawned through them, caused a stir to draw attention away from Jefferson or usually excused himself for the bathroom every single time without fail.

Last year Alex had been given the joy of skipping their Christmas party as Philip had not long been born. It had been so liberating to crack stupid and tell the board that he wouldn't be attending. Washington, Alex's top boss could see through him though, as always. But having a year off from listening to Jefferson's gloating had been bliss even if he had spent the night looking after a screaming baby.

Jefferson adjusted his glasses at Alex and he steps into the elevator. He's on one side and Alex on the other. No small talk was made, nothing. Just pure, horrid silence.

As if the day couldn't get any worse.

"All ready for the meeting I assume?" Jefferson asks.

It was a harmless question but Alex felt its bite. There was always such a mean spirited, rude edge to Thomas's tone.

"I think you know the answer to that" Alex says back.

He can feel his eyes blaring on him. But Alex wasn't giving Jefferson as much as the satisfaction of even eye contact. Jefferson knew Alex couldn't stomach him. Especially after he almost had Alex sacked on one or two occasions.

"Mhm" Jefferson hummed, sarcastically. "Well, considering you're almost twenty minutes late. I hope you can put that sharp tongue and wit to use today. Washington isn't in the best mood this morning and we've been joined by two other officials from head office. So, try not to mess this up. Please."

Alex side eyed him and then looked away. He wasn't in the mood for a tongue battle this morning, it was better to just agree with Jefferson sometimes than to cause a stir.

"And aren't you late?" Alex fires back, smoothly.

Jefferson clears his throat before taking his sip of whatever it was he was drinking. Alex was certain it was that green chai shit. Jefferson also liked to harp on about health too.

"I'm on a document hunt" Jefferson replied. "Plus, we are a man down. So, it's up to me to go pinch a certain person from the twelfth floor. Washington sent me of course."

Alex rolled his eyes.

It was hilarious whenever Jefferson acted as if Washington was actually on his side. Alex could recall one of their yearly celebrations, it was at some fancy new bar downtown and Washington had been slaughtered. He had laughed about Jefferson to Alex, he couldn't stomach the man.

So seeing Jefferson try to play the pompous little apple polished that he truly though he was, Alex deemed it hilarious every single time. He bit his lip and tried to hold back a smirk.

"Good luck with that" Alex chirps, he knew Jefferson was aware that wasn't supposed mean a thing.

Jefferson let out a low 'mmm' obviously unconvinced.

The elevator then 'pinged' catching both their attention. As the doors opened, Jefferson took a quick sip of his drink and he looks back at Alex in such a tedious way. Alex stared at him, arms crossed, unimpressed.

"And another thing, Hamilton. You may want to straighten that tie as well by the way, we're at work. Not at school." He adds.

Alex saw that mean little smirk etched on Jefferson's lips as he walked away. As the doors began to shut, Alex gave his back a one fingered salute before he groggily faced the mirror in there.

Jefferson had been right.

Alex groaned, his tie was all wonky and too small.

John could've at least told him it was fucked before leaving out the door. Weren't husbands supposed to have their ties straightened before they left?

Grumbling Alex quickly undid it and as he's trying to sort it out he didn't take much notice of the doors opening on the next floor. Alex caught their gaze in the mirror as he recognises his superiors entering.

Now this was awkward.

They were giving him such looks. Alex did his tie as fast as he could before turning back to lean against the mirror. He kept his head down, gave a curt little nod and let out a small "Morning gentlemen". They grumbled back in response.

Alex sighs silently to himself.

Perhaps he should have just taken the day off after all.

* * *

The meeting had gone well. Better than Alex had expected which was a good sign, it was boring but he managed to stay awake though. However Alex felt better being back in the office. Finally he could cough, choke and breathe in peace without the snide glares.

"God, I am sick to death of hearing about the election. It's still on the news!" Alex grumped. "Trump supporters are this, Biden is doing more of this, vote for Trump and you're the spawn of the devil. It goes on, on and on. Yeah, sure, we all know the election was rigged. They took days on end going on a easter egg hunt for ballots, it was a damn mess."

Hercules took a sip of his coffee, he's nodding along and typing at the same time. He always did then whenever Alex was on a anger rampage. Hercules, one of his closest friends, infact. A big burly black guy who looked tougher than ten Rottweilers combined but really he was softer than fluff marshmallow. And one of the kindest, gentlest men Alex knew.

They had gone through law school together. Hercules was about to drop out and fend for art instead. That was until one morning he got a text message off his girlfriend telling him that she was pregnant.

So Hercules had decided it was best to just stick to his law degree since he would be needing the income to support a baby. And now he was burdened with a current divorce and had to wait to be able to see his now thirteen year old on a weekend. Hercules didn't speak much about it and Alex knew it was such a messy subject in which he left alone.

Alex rolls his eyes at the Twitter posts, they grew by the second in the 'Debate 2020' tag. Some of it were facts and memes, you had the occasional video. But the majority of it was just trash.

"Heh, I mean, check this out for instance. We've got some chick here under the name... ElsaFan2002 who says 'Hashtag Get him out! You vote for Trump, you vote for racism' and if he wins I'm leaving the country.' she says" Alex sucked his teeth at the tweet.

"The amount of liberals that constantly complain about this country, always state that they're going to leave. But yet they stay? Liberals, you guys leave me speechless." Alex said.

Hercules didn't look fazed, he nods once more and takes a bite out of his ham salad bagel.

"Seriously, it's just kids, most of them are _kids_ who are saying this crap. Twitter its self is so far left, it's almost up its own ass. Not that it's any surprise that it's become strict with censorship taking over. And also, speaking of kids, I mean what are they being taught in schools, Herc? The system has been lobotomised like hell since we were last in school. They grab them at a young age now. Indoctrinated by the far-left with crazy ideologies. Brainwashed and train them up in preparation for destroying cities" Alex sighs.

Swallowing as he did, Hercules had to let out a small laugh. "Alex"

"But they are! This is some Logans Run type of shit that's happening in this country. These kids all suddenly support socialism? The same kids that are upset about the working class but the majority of these brainless bastards probably have never worked a day in their entire life. I mean, do these assholes even know they're supporting and have just elected a real racist? One with actual proof, over fourty-seven years of damn footage saying shit like 'I don't want my kids growing up in a racial jungle'." Alex spat.

"Yeah but Trump did call Baltimore a shit hole" Hercules argued.

Alex gave Hercules a look. "How is that racist? Because black people live there? There's also asians, whites, hispanics? Herc, it's that line of thinking which is ruining our country. Trump said that, sure, but the dude is from Queens for god sake."

Hercules shook his head. "Oh lord, oh lord"

Alex however wasn't finished yet. "I mean, how can some crooked dying puppet and his giggling sided-kick get away with it? Our media has a lot to say for itself, it's criminal. And it's all run over that weird old German guy, George Soros, he's trying to basically manipulate every social platform known to man. And he's funding the riots in this country."

"But how is it criminal?"

Alex rolled his eyes hard at Hercules. "Because it's bias as hell! And it enrages me how Biden gets to say racist shit and no one seems to bat an eyelid when he does it! The media doesn't talk about that. Biden won so that he could run this new world order shit. But the dude is true racist."

"But Trump was racist too" Hercules defended. "Wasn't he saying how he's fine with white supremacists?"

Alex snorts. Hercules pulled a funny look at him.

"He was humouring him! He didn't mean it. Everyone takes it out of context. Everyone is so over sensitive, that's part of the problem and all this PC culture bullshit"

"I don't know man..." Hercules laughs it off.

But Alex shook his head. He wasn't having it.

"My John and my Pip both have black ancestry, John's mother was half black. She came from Puerto Rico with her parents, they settled here for a better life. And John even told me, his mother's father, who is from Brazil originally. He's an Afro-Brazilian man who faced a shit ton of colourism, but more so racism from his _own_ people and then left that communist hell hole. He met John's grandmother in Puerto Rico, then they both agreed to come here to the states. They settled in Brooklyn and never looked back." Alex finished.

Hercules looked taken aback. "Serious? I never knew, I mean, it ain't something I've ever really asked John to be honest."

Alex bit his lip and nods. "Yeah, John doesn't like talking much about his family. Especially his mom, hits home a lot, y'know?"

"Nah, I get it." Hercules said softly.

"Yeah, but like I was saying, this Biden, as well as all of that, he supported segregation, bussing, passed a crime law -"

Hercules put a hand up to Alex and he swallows before saying, "Well, isn't that a good thing to not have crime on the streets though?'

"Herc, Biden threw more black men in jail for jack shit. And then you've got that witch, Kamala Harris, admitting she smoked pot growing up and then imprisoned black people for the exact same thing? Herc, I'm being honest here. The left only want black votes during election time. Always. We got tricked with Obama -"

Snickering, Hercules put his head down and shook it. "Alex man, you're a riot"

"They used the guy has a puppet, Obama was nothing more than a 'Hey, I got a black friend! Aren't I a good person?' and what makes it even more of a joke is that the guy is biracial. Same with Kamala Harris, if she was white, no one would even care!"

"Alex, chill" Hercules chuckles. "Hey, but, doesn't he identify as black though?"

Alex pulled a weary expression and shrugged.

"His momma's white, so he's mixed. Like I said Obama was nothing more than a prime example of tokenism. He got the black vote in. I mean I won't lie, I voted him in that year myself. I thought the Obama win was a beacon for us? I mean, it was nice to finally see a person of colour in the white house, because it had never happened before. But Obama's two terms taught me something. No matter who gets in the highest position in this country, there is always going to be racial conflict. And Obama is also involved with that Soros guy, his son got all buddy buddy with him and that Clinton bitch too" Alex stated.

Hercules looked shocked. "You can't say that"

"I just did, Herc, you know me dude." Alex told him.

"You're non-stop"

Alex nods and he's wiping at his stuff nose before adding "Damn right. And another thing, if I think for one minute Philip is getting any ideas once he's eighteen, that he's joining the crazy radical left! He's got another thing coming, they're not going to prep my son up for Antifa and turn him into some soy boy! He ain't doing it!"

Angelica's laugh roared behind them both. It had Alex jump out of his skin and Herc almost choked.

Alex tilts his head back and catches her looming above him upside down.

Angelica looked extra good today. Alex and her also went back just as he did with Hercules. She had a new lace front in from what Alex could tell but he wasn't going to say a thing. He knew better than to ask about a black woman's hair.

Observant as ever, Alex noticed her hair was up in this lovely wavy pony tail that came over her shoulder. She had gloss on too and a great figure hugging navy dress topped with a little black cardigan over her petite frame. Alex arched a brow, he wondered who she was dolling herself up for. Angelica always looked nice but today she definitely had something going on for her.

Alex sits back upright properly and swivels his chair around to her.

After all, he would find out the gossip of her affairs in the next few days probably. Whether whatever Angelica was up to, Alex always found out. Nothing stayed a secret too long in the Schuyler family as she was the half sister to John's best friend Peggy after all. And the sister to their adopted sister, Eliza who was not only probably Alex's best friend but Philip's biological mother.

"What the heck is a soy boy?!" Angelica laughs.

Alex scoffs, as if she should've known when literally no one had a clue. "You don't know?"

"No, Alex. Not all of us spend day in, day out on Twitter" Angelica laughs.

"And I do?" Alex says, brow raised. "I only go on it when I'm on the subway!"

Hercules shakes his head, he's swallowing a bite of his bagel and wagging a finger at Alex. "That's a lie! You were just on there!"

"Can't a man freely browse the shit storm of this country we live in, online, in peace?" Alex tries to look offended.

Then Alex darts his attention back to Angelica. "And a soy boy usually inhabits that non-conformist look about them. They usually have desistement testosterone levels. Combined with a inherent revulsion of any kind of responsibility. They get upset if you disagree with their opinions and then call you a 'nazi'. But you seem with them, their NPC hipster coding has failed and have had to settle to be some kind of neckbeard mongrel half way house instead. And you can blame mainstream culture."

Hercules snickered "Alex"

Angelica gently clipped Alex at the back of his head. He threw her daggers despite the fact it had no force at all.

"I have no idea what I'm gonna do with you" Angelica sighed. "So, who did you vote for? Trump?"

Alex shook his head. "To be honest, Ange. It's hard because they're both assholes. I didn't vote -"

At this both Angelica and Hercules groaned at him.

"Then why are you even bothered about Biden and Harris?!" Angelica cries, stressing out her arms as she did.

"Seriously Alex, you have no room to even complain" Hercules chuckled.

"Like I said, I don't like either of them. Joe's a sworn racist and Trump's presidency has been a nightmare from day one, if it was any other republican they would've never gotten the backlash as hard as he did. He's a business man, not a politician. But it's ingrained in people's brains that being a democrat is the good party and republican party are demons. And that ain't true!" Alex cries.

"But they are! Which is why I can't understand why you support them more over democrats!" Angelica crooned.

Oh this was getting annoying now. Alex spun around in his seat to her. "You would be surprised, Ange, just how many of us latinos are republican. And trust me, the number is slowly rising for black americans too. "

Angelica could only give Alex a look of disapproval. "Which is why I don't get it? Being Republican, supporting Trump, they're not good for us"

Hercules watched the two and continued to take another chunk out of his bagel.

Alex huffs. "Well, lucky for you, I consider myself solely independent, moderate at best. And at least Trump actually helped the black community. Biden and Harris just prefer to either have black communities defunded by police so that more people die or they jail them. Even Ice Cube was on board with this shit and that other one, Lil Pump was it?"

"Yeah" Hercules replied.

"I mean, Ice Cube's work from back in the day was always based on the hood, police and how the black community had fallen. But who is to blame? The democrats." Alex told them, both Angelica and Hercules stared at him like he had lost it.

"Over time the democrat party have just ruined the black family and neighbourhoods. That's why we're left with fatherless households, single mothers abusing their kids, prostitution being glorified and thug culture" Alex explained.

"But they have no choice!" Angelica said. "That's how some black moms get by, not all of them have a fancy ass job like you and John"

Alex tilts his head at her and just sighs. "Ange, I was in foster care _all_ my life. If a kid like me could get out the gutter and work and make something of themselves, trust me. There's hope. These women can't help it, I get it. But the democrats simply just expect them to rely on them for the rest of their days."

Angelica took a seat on the edge of Alex desk and glared him down. "You being serious?"

"Yep" Alex sang.

"Alex, I respect you and love you as an old friend. But that's just a bit -" She was cut off.

"I know, but Ange we all have opinions. This is the problem today, the world is offended by its own shadow. _Listen_ , I don't like the far radical left. They're immature, having any type of debate with them is a headache, destroying businesses is seen as good, calling someone racist is now the winner in an argument, pro-abortion is as a positive thing, which I do not think it should be. Sure, I am pro-choice, but when I see Tik-Tok videos of college kids twerking and throwing parties of how they've just got an abortion. I don't find that celebratory, that's shameless and insensitive. Kids have no standards these days and you can't say shit because the woke brigade love to chant 'my pussy, my choice!'. It's a termination of life, it's not a 'lump of cells' either. When I saw Philip in your sister's belly, I felt more than I can even describe." Alex reasoned.

She sighed and crossed her legs.

"I mean Herc, you've got a kid yourself! You know that feeling, man! And I worry about my son, Philip will be a teenager some day, under a new presidency, which will probably be worse with the way things are going. And I don't want him growing up believing that 'all whites are bad', how rioting in streets is considered a 'peaceful protest' or leaving elementary school wondering if he's a girl, because that is another thing -" Alex said and clicked his fingers.

Angelica dropped her head backwards and closed her eyes. But Alex pushed on, they had to both hear this.

"Damn, Alex" Hercules laughs. "You're going all out today"

"Nah, you both need to hear this. Kids should not be told there are more than two sexes, confusing them from a young age like that isn't right. A lady I know, she works down at the bodega a block away from ours. She said her daughter's kid was being read some book about questioning their gender. I mean I am not gonna go down this worm hole even more than I already have right now. But, nah. Kids shouldn't be dealing with that shit or getting surgery." Alex says, twisting his mouth and shaking his head.

"What if they're actually transgender though?" Hercules asks.

"Some know from a young age" Angelica pressed.

Alex knew they didn't agree with him. But oh well. "I'm not saying that, I am just saying it's wrong to push it on all kids. If one or two of them in a class have a feeling or know they're trans, then sure. I am certain that in this day and age, that child will have the support especially with how much the media enforces that trans kids should. But once they turn eighteen and they're grown, let them go ahead with it fully I say. But you can't say this isn't all the radical left's doing, when it clearly is."

Angelica rolls her eyes. "So, who do you support?"

"None of them, until we all end up under some kind of government where everyone can try and act civil. No crazy racial movements, no secret racists, no gender agendas being forced upon children, no homophobia -" Alex took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"I ain't asking for a perfect country, just one where things are fair. Because right now, while we have two parties, there is never going to be peace. There never will be! And all they do is cause division. All over the world, not just here. Biden won, but are we unified? Ask yourselves that? No. No, we're not." He ended.

"So, who did John vote for?" Hercules asked.

Alex sighed defeatedly. "Biden"

"Damn" Hercules said with a small whistle. "I bet there were plates being thrown that night"

Alex waved a hand at him. "Nah, no. No, me and John ain't like that. We didn't argue. John just put his arm around me, I had a good bitch and he listened. That was it" Alex told him.

Hercules gave a wry smile.

"John's always been liberal. Very liberal, but that's his choice. I can't change who he is, we just share different views. Although he does not agree with the current riots happening around the country. But me and him, we can have a grown up conversation about our views. And, yeah, I kind of had a feeling that the election was going to be fucked though. No matter what people say." Alex told them both with a shrug. "The elite play chess with us. And here's another thing with us Independents and the Republicans. We don't shout and cause drama like the left does -"

Angelica gave Alex a light thump with her file holder and snorted.

"It's true!" Alex laughs.

"You're one cheeky bastard" Angelica chuckles.

"We don't though, once the left is inflamed that's when the riots begin." Alex says. "Sure, okay, you two can say whatever, but the left have hounded and harassed anyone who doesn't agree with them. Viciously and the amount of childishness when you try to reason is above and beyond. The media should be defunded in my opinion, CNN especially."

Angelica rolls her eyes and taps her long red nails on the side of her mug.

"The left constantly likes to remind both you and Herc that this country is racist. And that as soon as you step outside of your apartments you're in for pitchforks and a noose, right?"

Hercules dusted his hands off on his napkin and he's looking at Angelica. Both of them side-eyed each other.

"Tell me, when you're up and dressed for work Ange, you go and grab yourself one of those weird chai vanilla lattes you like, served by an Asian guy lets say. Everything is fine, yeah? And Herc, you get up each morning for a quick session at the gym, that's why you're swole as fuck. You probably say good morning to your white trainer, Jim wasn't it? I remember because I came with you last month. He was a nice dude!" Alex added.

Angelica just mumbles out a quiet 'oh god' under her breath.

"Everything is totally fine for you two, the two of you are both black Americans on a good paycheck and I'm a latino, New York City, hand-me-down, immigrant, bastard orphan, who's earning some good fucking money so I can put away a pension and a trust for my son." Alex tells them, seriously. They're both staring at him silently. "It's all good right? So why is it that each and every time we put on CNN we're suddenly subjected to scaremongering and inverted racism?"

"Look at the United Kingdom, I got a friend there in Brighton. The guy said the same shit to me, their government has turned into a totalitarian dictatorship."

Angelica frowns. "What?"

"Yeah, their prime minister can't even brush his hair in the damn morning and expects people to believe his madness. All of this shit, every country, we're all in for the new world order bullshit." Alex trailed off with a sigh and he stands up from his seat.

"New world order" Angelica snorts.

Hercules side-eyes her and then looks back up at Alex. "You need to get off Facebook and Twitter, Alex. All these conspiracy theories aren't doing you any good"

Alex grabs his mug off the desk and he shrugs. "Yeah, well. You won't be saying that in the future Herc, not with that track record of dealing on the side. The weed express train is slowly going to take a huge hit. Especially once this country has social credit ingrained into it then maybe you'll think twice about who you vote for next time. And to top it off, we're now back to dropping drones!" 

And Alex walks away. Angelica and Hercules look at each other with stunned expressions.

"Where are you going?" Angelica calls.

Alex says nothing apart from raise up his mug and does a small skip as he leaves their department. He figured he had said enough.

* * *

"Hey Pegs" John greets.

Peggy was an old friend of John's. He had known her since he came to New York years ago. She had been one of the first people on his design course that had actually been approachable. Everyone else either didn't talk, had their own circles or seemed a tint snobby. It had alarmed John since people from the South were a lot more chatty.

John came from a social background, had an overbearing family and extremely blunt aunts who never seemed to keep it shut. His siblings included. But John had never really wanted to study back home, New York had always been in his sights even as a child. Plus the dating scene had more options than back in South during the mid noughties and gay marriage hadn't passed yet, John remembered coming to college here in early 2004. Finding a man to bed or date had never been much of a problem compared to back home.

Peggy had immediately befriended him, they clicked well and the rest was history.

She came bounding in with a big grin on her face and she threw an arm around John tugging him in. "Hi love"

And then she practically pushes John to get inside, he's turning to see what she's doing and Peggy already has Philip in her arms. She's got him out of his high chair and she's giving him the biggest squish.

John laughs as she shuts the front door and locks it.

Peggy is kissing Philip's cheeks and bobbing him in her arms. "My best little friend! Look at you, Pip! You've gotten so big! Haven't you?!"

Philip is squealing joy in her arms and turns into a giggling mess when she's blowing raspberries on his cheeks.

John stands here shaking his head but he can't help grinning at the display. Philip loved his aunt Peggy so much.

"Honestly" John says, wearily, laughing. "The two of you"

Peggy pouts at John with Philip in her arms and Philip is staring up at Peggy with all dimples. "I haven't seen him in weeks! So, I apologise for giving my nephew the biggest cuddle of his life!"

John goes to lean against the kitchen island as he just watches her play with him. Peggy was amazing with children, she always got Philip to light up whenever she arrived. Not that Philip was bad with either him or Alex but Philip could be a handful, difficult at times.

It sometimes did make John wonder if perhaps his son truly needed a female figure in his life. A mother. John bites on his lip and drops his gaze for a moment as he continued to listen to the sounds of play and laughter.

Not that it would ever truly be possible as John could never be with a woman. But this is what his lifestyle came with, it had him wonder a lot about silly things. Still, he knew Philip loved him and Alex. He could see it in his little eyes.

His fingers gripped the sides of the island and they clenched.

He just hoped he was doing enough for his son, he wanted to be enough. It was ridiculous to be jealous of his best friend. She couldn't help being good with kids, it was just in her nature.

"How've you been then?" Peggy asks.

Immediately John's self pity came to an end and he perks back up. He gazes towards her and gives her a grin. "Yeah, not bad. Same old, same old, vlogging, campaigning, writing Pegs. Hey, you taking your jacket off?"

Peggy nods. "Good, good. Oh, shit, yeah. One sec -" And she's putting Philip back down in his chair and he backs a complaint babble as she did which has them laugh. "Lemme get this off"

She takes off her jacket and throws it on the back of one of the bar stools. "So, how have we been doing? How was South Korea?" John asks.

He automatically strolls over into the kitchen and flips on the kettle since he already knew what Peggy was going to drink. One coffee, no sugar, a little milk. It looked like ink but she loved it.

She grins at John and goes back over to Philip where she's tousling his curly locks. "Amazing! It is such a beautiful country, I loved everything. The food, their language I managed to learn a little and pick up."

"That's amazing" John beamed. "Great, well, I am glad you had a good time"

"Yeah, I can't wait to go back next year. And also, the school I worked at, wow! Honestly, Jack. It isn't anything like here! The kids over in those Korean schools are brilliant. They're all so mature, so brainy too. Nothing like here in the US"

John nods. "What do you expect? They're obedient, they actually do their class work. Which makes me wonder if I should even bother putting Pip in a public school"

Peggy pulls at Philip cheek softly and he giggles. "You don't want to?"

"Not really" John shrugged. "I want him in a good school"

She snickers. "You're such a snob"

He pulls an 'oh really' face at her. "You are!" She cried. "What would Alex say to that?"

"Alex would just have to deal" John laughed off. "And anyway, I do all the decision making anyway half the time. I may as well sort out our kid too since he's always working"

Peggy's smile wore off as she's staring at John, he's busy making her coffee. She knows he's irritated, the look on his face gave it away. She worms a hand over Philip's locks before slowly going over to John.

"Everything alright?" She asked, softly.

John sucked in a deep breath. He didn't want to really go on about his problems, especially to Peggy since he knew she would drag Alex up on everything. Which would just spiral into an argument. One that John didn't need.

"Yeah" John says, he knew his voice was betraying him.

Truthfully, John wasn't fine. Not really.

John was pretty much a single father these days. Constantly trying to keep up to date with campaigns, online zoom sessions with other big influencers and creating high quality content from home to rack up his numbers on socials. He had a child who always needed attention, that didn't get to spend enough time with both his parents. And John often felt as if there was a rift between him and his husband.

Things could be better.

But for now, John was just going to be grateful for what he had.

So he faked smiled like he always did.

"Yeah, Pegs. I'm goody, good. Hey, you going to tell me about your Korean boyfriend then? What's his name?" John joked.

She whacks his arm playfully and pouts. "Don't do that!"

"Oh, girl. C'mon, baby girl, share the gossip. I want to know!" John chuckled, then he looks over to Philip who was drinking some of his apple juice. Half of it was already down his bib. "Don't we Pip!"

Philip waves his arms and squeals in delight. Peggy pretends to gasp and she nudged John in the side which had John wail laughing because he was ticklish there.

"Don't be siding with him Pip!" She said. "Your father is a menace!"

John snorts. "Hardly! Nah, seriously though. You seeing anyone?"

"Nah" Peggy shook her head. "The men over there were cute, some hit me up in the clubs there with the friends I made but I think they're just a little apprehensive about girls of colour. Well, girls who have black in them. Like, I know I'm mixed but they still just see black. And Korea is hella weird about darker skin"

Both John and Peggy rolled their eyes.

"Damn right" John agreed. "I've seen some of their music videos, those boy bands or whatever they have there. I've heard they have bleaching products and all sorts."

Peggy nods. "They do, it was fucking difficult shopping for products sometimes because if I ran out of face lotion or if I needed a cleaner some of the products have skin whitening substances in them. I mean, the hell? I get it's a cultural thing and all but what if some people don't want that"

John shrugs. "I only know all this because I was doing a campaign for J Crew a while ago, one of the girls on our team was from South Korea. She was telling one of the guys who did make up about all of this. That is the only reason I am aware about any of this. Crazy."

"Yeah and there was one girl who told me that a Nigerian woman was applying to work in a school near where I was living actually. Her application got rejection because she was black." Peggy huffed.

John sighed, shaking his head. Irritation etched on his brow. He stirs her coffee before handing it over to her. "That's barbaric"

Peggy took her hot drink and blew it. "Thanks. And yeah, it's sad but that's the reality. I know we bitch about America but in ways, I guess we are lucky. Kinda"

"Suppose" John says.

Then he looks over to Philip and smiled lovingly at his son. "Which is pretty much why I want what's best for him -" John says, gesturing his head over to Philip. Peggy turns and she is grinning at him too.

"No matter what happens" John turns and leans his back against the counter with his arms crossed. "He's going to blow us all away"

* * *

Alex wearily pushes through the front door. He's still feeling groggy and all he wanted was a piping hot bath. He hoped to god this bug he had would shift out of his system by tomorrow because being ill at work was no fun.

As he yawns, Alex starts to slide off his coat, then tosses it over the back of the sofa before doing the same to his scarf. It's been a long day. He goes into the kitchen, he wondered if there was any of that thai curry leftover. As he does, he finds John taking off Philip's spiderman costume. He's got their son sat on the island counter top and was unzipping it.

"What're you doing?" Alex asks, deadpanned.

John's head turns to him, he beams at Alex and then looks back to Philip. "Well, Peggy came over -"

Alex had to turn so he could quietly kiss his teeth at that name without John seeing. "She's back?"

"Yep, she's back alright. And our Philip got excited and he ended up wanting to show off his spiderman costume to her, christ. He just loves it. This is probably the best thirty bucks I've spent on him. He's good as gold when he's wearing this thing! But isn't it awesome though? Doesn't he look great?!" John then turns back to their son. "You do, don't you!"

Philip squeals, he's giggling there behind his Spidey mask and clapping his hands. Alex couldn't not smile at the sight. Lately Philip had been adoring Spiderman, Star Wars and all the geeky wonderful things John loved. Alex didn't mind them but he wasn't as much of a die hard fan like his husband and son.

Alex reaches out to ruffle Philip's mass of blooming curls which has him giggling and he bends down to peck him one the forehead.

John stands back, watching fondly. "He's been waiting for you, I tried getting him to talk and from the sounds of it, he couldn't wait for his Daddy to get back home"

"Dadada!" Philip yells.

Alex laughs, he lets out an 'aw' and picks Philip up under his arms. "Is that right, hm? You were waiting?"

"Da!" He shouts.

John laughed.

"Also, who is this? This ain't Spiderman?" Alex say, question in his voice as he's looking it over. John is puzzled and Philip is sucking his fingers. "Why is the suit different? Why is it black?"

"Oh, you haven't seen it yet have you" John said.

Alex frowns. "Seen, what?"

"The new one? You didn't want to watch it. It's Spiderman: Into The Spider-verse, the movie came out a year ago or something." John says, grinning down on Philip.

"I've never even heard of it" Alex shrugs. Because he hadn't.

"That's because you're always working" John says, then purposely giving Alex a little nudge.

"Yeah, yeah. No, but seriously, I just thought his suit was some Chinese factory bootleg copy that you found at the dollar store. I mean, geez. It's too nice to be a fake, the stitching doesn't look like low paid workers have been stringing it up together in the dark"

"Alex!" John gasps, laughing as he did.

Alex nudges him back. He catches that twinkle in John's eyes. "You know I ain't into all that superhero junk and what even, who is this then? If this isn't Spiderman, then who is it?"

"Miles Morales" John replies. The name seemed to automatically perk Philip up because he's squealing in delight. Alex has to laugh. "He's this new African American Latino Marvel character. Pretty cool"

That did sound amazing. Alex smiles and nods. "Representation, I love to see it! My people!" Alex cries and he's ruffling at Philip's curls. Their son's giggling and glee pretty much spoke volumes, Philip agreed too.

"So, what's his power? Is he strong, can be turn invisible, freeze things, can he swing or run? Run for miles?" Alex was just terrible.

John groans at that, laughing and he swats Alex on the shoulder. "Don't - that was terrible"

Snorting out a small 'I know' Alex then adds, "I bet this kid ain't got a thing on our Pip though, has he?" Alex coos and he's reaching down to lift up Philip. "Has he?" Then blowing raspberries on Philip's cheek when he's swooped him up. Philip burst into a fit of laughter and he's kicking out his legs.

John is watching the scene and taking it in with a loving smile. He's so proud of his little family.

"The pair of you..." John says.

Alex kisses Philip's cheek and bounces up in his arms.

"You ought to watch he doesn't throw up on you again" John told Alex. "After what happened last night, we don't need a repeat of this morning and all"

"Ah yeah" Alex laughs. "Nah, I'll becareful"

John clicks his fingers. "And another thing, I got the puke out of your coat. It's in the laundry room, hung up, drying."

"Great, that's babe" Alex says, he gives Philip another kiss before handing him over to John. "Here, you take him. I've still got this cold"

John took Philip into his arms and he sighs. John looked tired, Alex thought. "Alright, alright. And now, I am going to give this one a bath. He's all sticky from his ice cream he ate after dinner earlier and he got oatmeal in his hair this morning"

Alex rubs a hand up and down John's back as he walks off. "You eaten yet?"

"Yeah, Peggy and I went out for some lunch with Pip. Some of that thai thing is still in the refrigerator though" John called from down the hall.

Alex sighs. "Sure"

He know he shouldn't expect it but truthfully he wanted a hot cooked dinner. Usually John would cook since he was the one who worked from home after all. John was pretty much the breadwinner in their relationship, he owned this spacious apartment they were living in here in the city. John had the luxury of working on all these campaigns, content at any hour of the day. The least he could do was cook a little something since he knew that Alex would be out all day, working a proper, full time job which required putting effort into it.

It wasn't as if Alex didn't dislike John's career as an influencer. But Alex had never deemed it to be a real job, it was a glorified hobby at best. John worked under his father's company for a long time before all of this and a social media executive after. But with his charming good looks, vibrant personality, living in New York, was blessed with money from birth and being LGBTQ too. John had risen to a solid height of followers over the last few years.

Eventually it became his full time job. Video himself swanning around their apartment, film himself doing some kind of regimen, answering questions, working with other big shot New Yorker influencers. Although Alex had been impressed with some of the companies and names John had collaborated with. It was extremely impressive.

However Alex disapproved when it came down to people asking to see their son. Both Alex and John had said no to this as they did not want Philip on social media. It was dangerous and unfair.

The most John ever did was take a photograph of Philip from behind but that was rare. It came down to a point where John had to sit down and make a full scale video on the reasons why he will never release a photo of his child. Many of his fans agreed though and that had been the end of it.

Alex had gotten on camera with John a few times but it always felt uncomfortable. Alex could never fully be himself on camera, John always telling him not to give his opinions on politics, he had to act a certain way and hush with his dirty mouth as there could be a younger audience present. It was tiresome, Alex had no idea how his husband enjoyed playing out this faux fantasy so much.

Truthfully, Alex hoped one day John will quit social media and just go back to working a normal job. They had money, well, John had money. He had a name for himself now, it wouldn't take much for him to gain a top position with some magazine or something.

Alex plonks himself down on one of the bar stools at the island. He leans over the side and yawns. He feels so worn.

And to top things off, now hearing that Peggy was back on the scene, it made Alex want to scream.

It wasn't that he didn't get on too badly with her or like her since he had known her for years. But she always had something to say, she was always involved. When he and John got together it was as if Peggy seemed to have an input on their relationship too. Alex didn't know if he was dating John or her.

And Alex ended up having to tell John at one point during their early days, either tell her nicely to back off or that he was going to scream in her face. She was just so nosey, so big mouthed and immature one out of the sisters. It wasn't because she was younger, she was just irritating. Like an itch Alex couldn't scratch away.

And with that Alex retorted over to the fridge for his dinner. As he got it out and opened the lid on it, Alex pulled a face at the mushed up food.

"On second thoughts" Alex said to himself.

Then he's taking the leftovers, stamping on the kitchen bin's pedal and tossing it in

"I'll pass"

So canned soup it was then, Alex figured. As he watched his bowl of tomato and herb circulate in the microwave. Alex mutters "This is as about as exciting as life gets these days"

Because truthfully, it was. Another sigh escaped from Alex.

* * *

It was a little over an hour later when John came back into the living room. Alex was now full, he sat sprawled on the sofa with some dodgy re-run on the TV. Alex wasn't paying much attention to it as he was flicking around on his phone.

So, much so that Alex hadn't really heard John enter the room.

"Hey" John calls.

Alex gives a quick once over before going back to his phone. "Hey. Is Pip okay?" Alex asks nonchalantly as he's typing up a message back to one of his co-workers.

John gives a stretch in the door way. "Yeah, he's bathed. And fast asleep. He just can't get enough of those Peppa Pig books, I didn't even think he would like them. Kid loves them"

"Right" Alex said back.

Then John goes over and plonks himself down beside Alex and lets out the biggest yawn. He makes sure to leave his arm just at the back of Alex's head though. John was staring at Alex and longed for his husband to give him attention back.

It was like this almost every night nearly. John's expression soon turned annoyed although Alex didn't see. He looks over to the TV instead and paid attention to that since Alex was ignoring him.

During the evening John wanted to talk about their day. Well, mostly Alex's since John was independent most of the time. He wanted to hear about what his husband had been doing, who had said what and what was happening. He only wanted to be kept in the loop. That was the problem with John's line of work, he was flexible, of course, yes. But it did get lonely sometimes.

And not to mention John wanted to find out when Alex's vacation period was due because John wanted them to have a proper holiday.

Not just for online content in videos and blog posts but he generally wanted family time.

"How's today gone?" Alex asks, quietly. He still sounded ill, John thought.

John then turns on his side to Alex, he keeps his arm on the back of the sofa as he then lifts up a leg just under himself and rests the side of his face into his palm.

Alex finally looks back at him. He sees John's curls are still wet from his shower, glistening there against the tv's light. He looked pretty. Well, John always looked pretty.

"And only just now you're asking that" John says, cheekily. 

"I already did" Alex says.

John gave him such a look. "No you didn't, when? You never ask me anymore, when you get home you're in another world most of the time!"

"Hold up - I do! And as soon as I got home, I did" Alex scoffed, laughing.

"Don't lie" John swatted Alex's thigh.

"I'd never" Alex chuckled.

And Alex's laughter worsened when John pulled a dead serious face. But he stops when John moves in and he playfully bites the end of Alex's nose and it has them both wheeze into some sort of a gasp but laugh at the very same time.

"Don't act like it hurt" John tells him.

Alex snorts and he swats John on the thigh. "You're supposed to love me!"

"And I do, sweetie. I do." John smirks.

With Alex lay back and John hovering over him like this the air around them felt a little hotter. Alex looked into his husband's eyes and he can see that naughty glint in John's.

But Alex felt too under the weather for anything full on so instead he leans upwards and presses his lips against John's. In which John returned the kiss.

It didn't last long. Alex broke away and John moved off him. As he did John places a hand on Alex's forehead for a moment.

"You're still quite warm" John tells him. "Did you cope today at work with your fever?"

Alex nods. "Just about"

John hums. "And did you finish off the thai food? You eaten yet?"

"Nah" Alex says. "Didn't feel like it. Just grabbed a tin of soup instead. I'm okay"

John removes his hand and he sighs. "I'm sorry, I would've cooked but we were out ages with Pegs. She never stops talking, you know how it is."

Alex is tapping away another message to yet another colleague and nods. "Yeah"

Now this just sparked irritation within John. He's glaring at Alex. "Alex, you're never off that phone. Jesus. You'll get square eyes"

"I already wear glasses" Alex joked.

And John made a soft 'tsk' and says "You know what I mean. Honey, just put the phone away. You're done with work for the day, plus you're still sick. Just rest"

"One second -"

"Now" John whined.

Alex groans. "In a sec, let me just send this message off"

John's brow raised and then it knit together angrily. This was becoming beyond annoying now. He wanted Alex to himself.

"Alexander"

"Fine, fine"

Alex sighed aloud and he sends one last message before doing as John says. He switches his phone off and tosses it on the coffee table. He looks back at John and crosses his arms.

"What does it take to just get you to spend a bit of time with me?" John grumbled. "Every day, every night, it's the same pattern"

Alex was the one to looked shocked this time. "And you're not? How do you think I feel when you're talking to yourself on camera in public spaces and always taking pictures of every single thing. Christ, babe. If they asked you to wipe your ass and show them, would you?"

John huffed at Alex. "That's what I do for a living, Alex."

"And typing up emails, while I'm heading to work, at work and even when I get home, to clients and colleagues is what I do, John" Alex muttered.

Now John is crossing his arms. "Don't I know"

Alex looked John up and down as he's scowling. "What's wrong with you? You've been off with me all day"

And John holds a hand up at him. "Don't"

"No, you have, all day. The fuck have I done?"

John tilts his head back on the sofa's back and he's glaring at the ceiling. "Perhaps if you were around more, showed a little bit more interest, Alex. I wouldn't be so fucking pissed off all the time. Maybe that is the reason why I off on you."

So that's what this was about.

Alex dropped his gaze and turns from John. He felt his heart drop right to his gut. "Babe"

"It isn't just one day, Alex. It's almost every day, I'm sick of it." John tells him, wearily. "I just _want_ my husband"

"And I'm here" Alex says, his tone now gentle and things seemed a bit more calmer now. The tension had passed at least. Alex reaches out and places a hand on top of John's knee. He squeezes it and John looks over to him. Their gaze marries.

"I'll tell you what" Alex began.

John eyed him.

"This friday, me and you. We do something nice, let's go out to dinner. It's my treat, I want to take you out. Okay, love?" Alex said.

The corners of John's lips slowly began to hitch.

"And over the weekend, I will leave work at work. I promise. I'll spend time with you and Pip. Just the pair of you." Alex assured. He wanted that too, it had been ages since Alex and them both had spent the weekend solely together.

John was full out grinning now. His dimples always broke Alex's heart.

"Does this mean I'm off the hook?" Alex scooted closer to John so that he was literally right up infront of him.

And John reached out a hand where he raked it down Alex's side adoringly.

"We'll have to see about that" John told him, teasingly.

It was a win. Alex had cheered John up. He got him smiling and bright eyed again.

"I will, I promise." Alex said and he moves in to plant a quick, little kiss on John's cheek. "I love you"

Johns nods and smiled. He drifts his attention then back to the TV. Alex stares at John for a few seconds, he notices John never says it back. He wasn't going to overthink it though.

With a soft sigh, John can see Alex staring at him in the corner of his eye. Automatically, he wraps an arm around Alex and pulls him into his chest. Being the shorter of the two, Alex always felt so little when he and John huddled together like this. Always safe, always loved. Alex snuggled in as he did, breathing John in and as usual he had his signature earthy cologne on.

Although it was the opposite on John's spectrum, as he inhaled Alex in, John frowns to himself. He was certain he could smell cigarettes, which meant, Alex was back on them. For now, John was going to keep quiet about that one. 

For now Alex rests his head against John's shoulder as they sat there braindead, not really paying the TV show much attention.

Neither of them made an attempt at conversation however both of their minds were screaming exchanges of the worry that they both shared. And that was the realisation of things were slowly beginning to crumble. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I'm starting a whole new story. 
> 
> I apologise if the office rant between Alex, Herc and Angelica irritated anyone reading but I tried to make it from both ends. So please respect that. Also, Alex isn't on any political side here, I'm not making him left or right. I just want to include modern day issues that are happening around the world into the story, realism purposes mostly. 
> 
> This story is basically about drama, angst, family, the real life that we all life and the everyday. It isn't going to be perfect and it may even make you all cry in the future chapters. 
> 
> But if you liked this so far then please stay on board for the ride.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading too. Most appreciated.
> 
> Stay safe,
> 
> PM XO


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